Dads Eulogy
Welcome everyone and thanks for coming to Dads final goodbye and for your support for my Mum, Ian and myself. Despite our obvious sadness we are actually happy that he’s finally at rest after such a long battle with his poor health.
Dad was born on 3rd Feb 1940. His Dad was away at war in the Far East during those early years. My Grandma Burns used to tell us about how they could see the bombing of Coventry from their home - a scary world to be brought into. Dad’s sister Delia was born in 1946 once Grandad had returned back home.
Dad attended Burton Grammar school and became a keen member of the Church Choir and Dramatic Society. He also developed an interest in train spotting and regularly went AWOL to watch steam trains whenever he could. He also supported the newly formed Burton Albion Football Club.
In 1958 he left college and joined Pirelli in Burton and worked in the laboratory as a chemist. He worked on alternative rubber compounds and synthetic fibres for use in the tyre industry that are still in use today. He used to tell Ian and I tales of how he would mix chemicals, no doubt with cigarette in hand, to see what happened. If it didn’t work out he’d just pour it down the sink. During his time at Pirelli he won a 1st Place Medal for achieving the highest mark in the UK City and Guilds exam in Chemistry.
In 1962 Dad was out with a group of friends that included Barbara Banks and he got invited back to the Banks household in Shobnall Street. The youngest girl in the house (Renee) was ordered to prepare some drinks which she duly did. As she walked into the room some clumsy oaf knocked the drinks tray out of her hands, the oaf – my dad!! The conclusion of the evening? David thought Renee was a ‘silly giggly girl’ and Renee thought David was a stupid idiot !! - Something she repeated on more than one occasion throughout his life!
Despite that early setback they were regulars at the Saturday night dances at Burton Town Hall and ended up getting married on October 17th 1964, 54years ago. Ian was born shortly after – almost too shortly! - in 1965 and I was born 2years later.
In 1968 Dad left Pirelli and joined Dunlop Tyres at Fort Dunlop in Birmingham and then from there moved to Dunlop Textiles in Rochdale in 1971 meaning that we moved up to sunny Ramsbottom. He progressed from Technical Services Manager to Technical Manager and then to Technical Director.
During that time he joined Radcliffe Male Voice choir and Ramsbottom Choral Society. Singing became a big part of his life.
Dad was a kind, quiet and gentle person. He guided Ian and I gently through our early years and our early careers. Maybe those stories of mixing chemicals in the lab inspired us to be scientists too. We certainly got the train spotting bug and Dad used to take us to Doncaster and Crewe Loco Works open days amongst other exotic locations while poor mum trailed around the shops of those towns.
He also helped us develop our DIY skills. Dad was to DIY whet the Chuckle Brothers were to common sense. He was a dab hand with a hammer skilfully holding a nail and then hammering his thumb – he also taught us some delightful swear words! His skill with a drill was also legendary being able to locate live electricity cables or water pipes with unwavering ease!
Dad wasn’t much of an athlete but he joined in with our activities taking us on Cub Scout trips and playing the occasional Dads versus Lads football match. He took us swimming to the local baths every Sunday while mum cooked lunch. On one occasion I got into difficulty and he somehow managed to get me to safety despite being out of his depth.
During the 70s and 80s he travelled the world with his job from China to Nigeria, Russia to South Africa. It always sounded glamorous and it was always great when mum took us to the airport to see him come home from his latest adventure. Together with mum they also took us on some great holidays to Tenby and then to France and Spain. Even after he retired he continued to travel with Mum and they went Switzerland, Singapore, Australia, Canada and America. He had a good life.
From a personal point of view my Dad helped me and inspired some of my career choices. He supported my choice of degree. My first job at Leyland-Daf was based less than a mile from Fort Dunlop. In 2003 I joined Bentley and found that it was less than 500yards from Crewe Loco works that we visited in the 80s. In that year Bentley won the Le Mans 24hours race in France using Dunlop tyres and this year my Bentley race cars use Pirelli tyres supplied from Burton On Trent. Following in my Dad’s footsteps I’ve travelled the world and found, like my Dad, that it’s not as glamorous as you think, it’s emotionally difficult being away from your family, and the best part is coming home to see them..
In another throwback to time, Burton Albion now play at the Pirelli Stadium on what used to be the site of the Pirelli employees social club.
Dad was forced to retire in 1998 due to ill health but continued to travel, to sing, to do his gardening and generally get on my mums nerves! From 2001 to 2009 he became a proud Grandad to Tom, Heather, Isabelle and Jasmine. He loved them all dearly and always had a big hug for them.
Sometime around 2011 Dad was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease. We all knew this would be a difficult one-way journey. In 2012 whilst on holiday in Spain in Dad went into the pool to swim with the Grandchildren. After a few minutes he actually forgot how to swim and ended up nearly drowning until I managed to drag him to the side of the pool and Ian helped me get him out. At least I’d paid back the favour of 40years earlier.
Alzheimer’s is a cruel disease slowly attacking the brain, shrinking its size and reducing its functions. One in 3 people will develop Alzheimer’s during their lifetime and unfortunately it’s fatal. It was first discovered in 1906 and still today the cause is unknown and a cure nowhere in sight. All contributions from today will go to Alzheimer’s Research UK.
The photo on the front of the Order of Service was taken aboard the Flying Scotsman in September 2016. Just before the bombshell of Mum being diagnosed with cancer. It’s possibly the last photo we have of him happy and smiling and doing what he liked to do.
Unfortunately, Dad had to go into a temporary care home during Mums operation and then after her operation we found him more permanent care at Epworth Grange and the Rose Court. All the time his brain shrunk and his functions slowed or stopped. Those 2 years have been a trial for us. We don’t know what Dad was feeling, I hope he wasn’t suffering. The last time I saw him Alzheimer’s had robbed him of his ability to walk, to talk to simile and to swallow food. Given this his death was the kindest thing to end his suffering.
On behalf of my Dad, Mum, Ian and myself I’d like to thank Lorraine and Jo for their tireless work to support us through this time either looking after Dad or looking after us.
And my final thought is this: Back in 1964 Dads promise to Mum was to honour and obey, in sickness and in health, ‘til death us do part. Well on that day that I left him in the care home before Mums operation I apologised to Dad for having to put him in a home and leave him there on his own. He said it was OK, he understood and he just wanted whatever was best for Mum. Although sometimes it was difficult to see he never stopped loving mum. The Saturday before he died I went to see him on my own, I wanted to say goodbye. During my time there the only two words that Dad managed to say was ‘How’s Mum’ I thought that was the mark of the man, and that even near death his ‘silly giggly girl’ was still the main thing in his life.
Dad died on 11th October 2018. I’m glad he found his peace and is singing in Heaven.
As Dad was a keen gardener and we wanted some uplifting music we’re now going to sing ‘All things Bright and Beautiful’